Wisdom by Sabdale

 Kelly Rowland says in her new single, ”told yall I was gonna bump like this…, If he ain’t got it right by now then scratch him off. The ring - Let it go bout three months ago… The pain aint stressin me no more.” If the person you are giving your time and love to, aint acting right, you need to let them go. I did. I must admit life have not been better. With change comes progress and I mean for the better. Often times when relationships fall apart, the mudslinging begins. In my case, I heard slanderous things, almost caused me to lose my cool, but I did not; I went to church and prayed for the person. While the individual was busy trying to mess my name up, I was busy on my grind as the young people called it. It is so easy to be caught up in it. So, what if the person is saying all kind of stuff about you? You aint the first person that has been done to, and you won’t be the last! You know who you are and that should be sufficient in setting the tone for those who really know you. If you know where your path leads, then there is no need to waste your energy on trivial matters- for what? Since the breakup, I have been accepted in a PhD program, working on a new book, and dating someone special. Folks, you can live above the drama, and channel all that energy into positive energy by keeping your head and heart focused on your goals. Practice loving yourself, day in and out and never respond to the mudslinging. After all, you know the truth about that person’s current lifestyle and their past, and as dirty as it may be, please, please, do not throw the mud back!

Here are some activities you can do instead: spend time with friends and loved ones, go bowling, go to the movies alone or on a date, recognize your worth, keep a journal of your feelings, encourage and pamper yourself. I must admit, breakups can be difficult, but you should never let anyone see you sweat unless you are at the gym, and do what I did, delete the person’s number out of your phone book. If you are tempted to call, call a friend who can support you through your rut.

            Remember, misery loves company. To that which you give time and energy to, to that you are a slave. The next time, you decide to love someone, be smart about your choice and try to evaluate what he/she is bringing to the table; check the person’s history like creditors do before they give you a loan, or the way the person responds and treat to you, before you commit and give your heart.

So, you have found someone with whom you can share your heart and time. At first, everything seems to be going well, until the issue of consideration rears its ugly head. Your significant other did something that makes you raise your left eyebrow. Here is the scenario, the MTA is on strike, your partner drives, but you do not. You need a ride to work; your significant other has banking and other stuff to do. You are of the mindset that he/she is aware of the blatant issue of the transit strike so you feel that you should not have to ask for a ride. It is not one of those days when you are silently accused as being needy. You head to bed, morning comes, and you ask, “Are you going to take me with you to do some banking? The answer stops you in your tracks, “No, I am leaving now. You should have told me that you needed a ride.” You are wondering to yourself, did I miss something? Your next response is, ‘Go ahead, I will find my way?’ He/she leaves without a goodbye or show any concern about your getting to work. What do you do? Although relationships can be a D-R-A-G, a real drag, situations like the one above makes the nurturer in a relationship wonders, why am I here? Men, as well as women come with many baggages, being considerate is an important asset to have in the package. When talking does not resolve the issue of inconsideration-, maybe walking does. As adults, we cannot raise and instill values of care or seeing from the “other” perspective if that trait was never instilled from childhood.